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debbie
#1 Posted : 07 October 2016 09:32:09(UTC)
debbie

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Hi everyone,
Well I can feel the return of butterflies in my stomach, the very thought of turning the clocks back in less than 3 weeks,
I woke early this morning to dull grey skies after lots of bright days here in Radcliffe,
My energy levels are beginning to drop has I see the night falling around 6.30pm,
I am trying to stay upbeat, and continue with the treadmill, has advised, but is getting more difficult has hibernation mode is setting in,
Comfort eating also, which I put a stop to, has the weight gain will start,
I am seeing my doctor on 17 th oct for a review of citalopram, I am currently on 10 mg, whether she increases the dosage I don't know has I feel just a dip in mood,
October is a difficult month and turning point in my sad, it's when the mood of depression takes over,
I find the presence of Christmas items in shops don't help neither, I get so down with that, reminds me of the of the deep dark nights of the winter, and the loss of my grandad,
I have also started on vitamin D tablets again!

I hope others are coping?
Or are the sad symptoms raising their head again?

Debbie
wooltonian
#2 Posted : 07 October 2016 13:08:06(UTC)
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Hi Debbie. Sorry you're finding things a bit tough at the moment. You're doing all the right things, though: you're on a maintenance dose of Citalopram and are going to the doctor at just the right time to discuss tweaking the dosage; you're taking vitamin D and I presume you're still going to visit your feathered friends on Radcliffe canal! Don't worry about all the Christmas stuff. I see it in the shops, but I'm not going to even start thinking seriously about it until the middle of December. It is irrelevant to me at the moment.

On the plus side, the weather forecast for at least the next week is very good, with plenty of sunshine, so plan to spend as much time outdoors as possible -- and if it rains you can blame me!

Keep your eye on that weather forecast (the BBC North West Tonight weather lady is the most cheerful) and enjoy the autumn sunshine!

S100
#3 Posted : 07 October 2016 18:02:40(UTC)
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Hi Debbie, nice to hear from you.

Yes it is a bit of a gloomy prospect even though we are still getting some sunny days up here. I've been grumpy, hungry and lacking in energy. Nothing too serious yet but I know the next couple of months are the most difficult for me. I haven't started the light therapy yet, but will do very soon. I started vitamin D3 this week and have got back into regular running. I've cut back on my alcohol intake as it is all too easy for me to get into a habit especially this time of year and it is a known cause of depression.

Last autumn a new doctor put me on 20mg Citalopram and I never felt quite right on it and stopped it of my own accord in January. I'd been on 10mg the previous winter and initially had my doubts about whether that was enough, but a different (wiser) doctor advised me to give it time, and sure enough I did OK with minimal side-effects.

I have my usual Canaries winter sun break booked for December. Luckily, all paid for before the Brexit vote brought the pound down. I'm back 2 weeks before Christmas so will try not to worry about that until then (typical man?).

Hibernation and comfort eating - what's not to like? ;-) Seriously, don't be too hard on yourself, and try to take it easy!
debbie
#4 Posted : 12 October 2016 09:51:00(UTC)
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Hi wooltonian and s100,
so good to hear from you both and thank you for your words of encouragement,
I have been a little more upbeat for the last few days, i have tried to make the most of the sunshine what bit there is before darkness appears which is getting earlier.
I went to Chester zoo on Monday with my hubby and we had a great day which lifted my mood quite a lot, being out in the open, i managed 150 calories on the treadmill last night, even though i was comfy on the couch by 7pm and felt tired, i made myself do something rather than reaching for the biscuit tin, or chocolate bars.
The holiday does sound a good tonic s100 for the winter, i do not blame you x
The ducks are getting fed on the Radcliffe canal so they are not getting to miss out, i see the doctor on Monday for a review i shall see what she advises, i do find the 10mg of citalopram fine for me, without much in the way of side effects, i was on 20mg for over 5 years prior to last May when i started weening off them under the doctors watchful eye, but come last October if you can recall i started with terrible low moods and feelings of despair in the middle of an holiday, so i think i shall stay on the current dosage.
I have a break back on the Isle of Wight next may to look forward to, a apartment overlooking the sea this time, to lift my spirits, so hopefully that will give me something to look forward to during the worst of the forthcoming winter.
Sad is a never ending circle of emotions, ususaly triggered by the weather and light quality with me.
love
debbie x
Spikemike
#5 Posted : 31 October 2016 17:29:41(UTC)
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Hi everybody....
New on here. But not new to browsing and finding out info..
Debbies original post, summed a lot of what I have gone thro over the last few years of me and my undiagnosed SAD.
Looming Xmas and the stocking of shelves in the shop, the virtual lack of sunshine and the turning back of the clocks..

What also makes this a dirty season for me is the fact that my grandmother died on Xmas Day, and Xmas day itself is fraught with pain and anxiety (I dont get to see my kids much) I also shuddder that this season is very much family orientated (my dad died this year. My mam is still around, but in fairly bad mental health (she obv also suffers on Xmas day, for obv reasons)

Somebody asked me a few days ago, that immortal question of 'sooo what you doing this year for Xmas then'... leading me into a headwhirl of stress/guilt(family) and wanting to just to cry....
I tried to forget about that, and enjoy the weekend, which I did, but I think today poss with it being a Monday (always get the Monday Blues) being dark (as I am writing this it is 5.20pm, and pitch black)

I am tring to keep on doing the things that make me happy, but sad is taking the edge off everything..
My libido, which is very high isnt being affected by SAD. But it has in the past...

Should I finally venture to the Dr's and unfurl my problems..

As a foresight into what/where/why..on Xmas day night this year I will be spending it camping with a girl, who also dislikes Xmas...
Plenty of punk and metal, not Cliff and Coke adverts...
wooltonian
#6 Posted : 31 October 2016 20:34:20(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: Spikemike Go to Quoted Post
Hi everybody....
New on here. But not new to browsing and finding out info..
Debbies original post, summed a lot of what I have gone thro over the last few years of me and my undiagnosed SAD.
Looming Xmas and the stocking of shelves in the shop, the virtual lack of sunshine and the turning back of the clocks..

What also makes this a dirty season for me is the fact that my grandmother died on Xmas Day, and Xmas day itself is fraught with pain and anxiety (I dont get to see my kids much) I also shuddder that this season is very much family orientated (my dad died this year. My mam is still around, but in fairly bad mental health (she obv also suffers on Xmas day, for obv reasons)

Somebody asked me a few days ago, that immortal question of 'sooo what you doing this year for Xmas then'... leading me into a headwhirl of stress/guilt(family) and wanting to just to cry....
I tried to forget about that, and enjoy the weekend, which I did, but I think today poss with it being a Monday (always get the Monday Blues) being dark (as I am writing this it is 5.20pm, and pitch black)

I am tring to keep on doing the things that make me happy, but sad is taking the edge off everything..
My libido, which is very high isnt being affected by SAD. But it has in the past...

Should I finally venture to the Dr's and unfurl my problems..

As a foresight into what/where/why..on Xmas day night this year I will be spending it camping with a girl, who also dislikes Xmas...
Plenty of punk and metal, not Cliff and Coke adverts...


Hiya Mike and welcome to the forum.

I think there is enough in your posting to suggest that in addition to all the SAD therapy stuff like using a light box and taking vitamin D, you should talk to your GP. Not necessarily to 'unfurl', but just to talk through your options. In the light of what you say about personal, family bereavement, I think counselling may be worthwhile. It's all really a question of speaking to the right person, getting the right advice and pursuing a course of treatment that will make a real difference to you. I've done it and it has really helped. If it doesn't work what have you lost? Seeing your GP is a good starting point, though.

In the meantime, keep playing the Punk! I don't know what constitutes Punk these days, but I used to go and see the Clash at Eric's in Liverpool (along with XTC, Big in Japan and the Buzzcocks) and it definitely helps with those long winter nights!
Spikemike
#7 Posted : 31 October 2016 22:30:14(UTC)
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Ahh thanks for the reply..
Yeah if today aint just a bad bad case of the monday blues I will go and seek help..

Well I have seen Sham 69 a fair few times...and SLF...
Some good local punky bands around here in South Shields...
wooltonian
#8 Posted : 01 November 2016 08:31:33(UTC)
wooltonian

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Originally Posted by: Spikemike Go to Quoted Post
Ahh thanks for the reply..
Yeah if today aint just a bad bad case of the monday blues I will go and seek help..

Well I have seen Sham 69 a fair few times...and SLF...
Some good local punky bands around here in South Shields...


Ah, the heady days of punk! I bought the first Sham 69 single on 12" when it came out back in the summer of 77. I always thought it was called 'Ulster', but on checking on wiki just now, 'Ulster' was the B-side and 'I don't wanna' was the A-side. Funny...I remember it the other way round!

Anyway, good luck! Keep us all posted how you get on this winter.

Spikemike
#9 Posted : 01 November 2016 08:37:13(UTC)
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Ooh I will do...
Had a really canny sleep last night, even tho I was sleeping next to a snorer all night (she had just come back from Benidorm)..but just chilled and had a not too bad sleep...woke up thinking that it is just another Tue, closer to the weekend.
Sooo altho I feel the fecker creeping in, SAD aint with me just yet...
So good to be prepared and armed for it..hehe

Have a lush Tue. X
debbie
#10 Posted : 02 November 2016 03:20:12(UTC)
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Hi spike mike,
Welcome to the forum,
Sorry you loss your nan at Christmas, like yourself I hate xmas,
My gran died in 1989 in May and it didn't hit me until September has the nights drew In,
I used to sit up all night crying and anxiety attacks,
I think it triggered sad it happened each winter but it wasn't till 2010 winter I had a total breakdown I finally sought help, from my gp
I am on citalopram now, only a low dosage, it does help, but since the clocks went back on Sunday I can't sleep and feel very anxious, like I am not with it
Writing this at 3 am due to not sleeping, I know how you feel when it's dark so early, has you said in your first post at 5.0 pm and dark, I can't deal with things the same, it's dreadful, small things become a worry out of proportion, I find myself worrying over everything then not shutting off, in summer I can deal with things better

I do hope you manage to see your doctor for advice?
This forum is a great life line for me, to know I am not alone in my suffering, people are friendly and helpful,
Regards
Debbie






wooltonian
#11 Posted : 07 November 2016 14:00:21(UTC)
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Just going back to the title of this thread, I try very hard not to think of my depression as a 'spiral'. If my mood starts to worsen my mindset is completely geared to trying to find a way through...a means of coping and levelling out the 'drop' in my wellbeing. 'Spiral' suggests a descent with no bottom, no control, no recovery.

Fortunately, my symptoms are nowhere near as bad as they were ten years ago -- largely due to forums like this one which help me to find solutions (or at least coping strategies) for my problems. I keep looking at that word in the thread title, though, and thinking that is so not how I want to frame my relationship with depression and anxiety.

I really hope, Debbie, you were looking for a word to convey your natural fear and apprehension as the SAD season draws in. I know that you are always looking for ways to help you through the winter months. I really hope you don't see it all as a downward 'spiral'.

Edited by user 07 November 2016 19:33:00(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

debbie
#12 Posted : 07 November 2016 16:17:50(UTC)
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Hi wooltonian,
Good to see you on the forum,
Debbie here,
I am feeling more optimistic since writing the post, last Sunday was difficult I felt out of it turning the clocks back, took me a while to adjust,
I have had a nice walk into town said hello to my ducks, no bread today for them,
The sunlight makes a marked difference in my energy levels,
I dislike the long dark evenings, but I have managed my treadmill and got to 180 calories, it's a manual one so hard going, I challenge my self, to do it in less time
I find the 10mg of citalopram helps, but I have to wait till December to see if my mood goes worse,
That's a hard month for me, being the darkest and the fact I lost my grandad, in 2012 New Year's Eve! My mood takes a nose dive then, but I keep saying to myself, I will not let SAD rule, easier said than done!
Glad you are okay wooltonian, and your depression is far better than 10 years ago, this forum I find a great help,
Debbie ☀️
PurpleIvy
#13 Posted : 17 November 2016 15:19:09(UTC)
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Am lucky that I have a sympathetic doc. After a few years of me turning up in a mess late autumn, he suggested that it would be better all round if I started to take anti depressant meds earlier in the autumn so that I didn't get into the 'downward spiral', thinking it was better to keep my mood up rather than try and get it up when I had taken a tumble.
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